Squeaky Peanut

"Dot takes on the Domestic Diva"

Eviscerated Squab, Part 2 August 1, 2010

Filed under: Other — squeakypeanut @ 3:13 PM
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Today we have a guest reviewer! Miss Pooch has dined on one of Martha Stewart’s new line of dog toys. Here is her review:

*******

1). Act bored on walk around the neighborhood the night before so human will take you to the PARK! in the morning

2). While at park goof off long enough, chewing on sticks and digging holes, that human gets hungry for breakfast. Send thought waves suggesting bagels to human. Bagel store is in the same place as the PET STORE!

3). Stare out window sadly while human gets bagels. Send thought waves requesting the purchase of a doggie bagel.

4). YAY, PET STORE!!! Sniff new Martha Stewart accessories line suspiciously.  Act very enthused when human squeaks bird toy, which tweets rather than squeaks.

5). Wonder why cashier did not offer a treat. They are right there, sitting in the built-in container at the register.

6). Get back in car and attempt to steal lox bagel so doggie bagel will be offered immediately instead of waiting until home. Try to jump out of window of moving car with doggie bagel in mouth, in order to find proper eating location.

7). Go home, eat doggie bagel, take nap.

8). Feign interest in human’s white bean salad at lunch so toy is offered instead.

9). OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!

10.) Find sweet spot in seam, near the tag, and tug at stitches with teeth.

11). Once hole has been opened, pull out tufts of stuffing one by one. Martha’s stuffing lacks seasoning, so spit it to the side. 

12). Find tweeter! YES!

13). Boo. Human takes it away.

14). After chewing for 20 minutes it has not been totally gutted, so pant hard then take nap.

15). Save leftovers for tomorrow.

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5 Responses to “Eviscerated Squab, Part 2”

  1. lsaspacey Says:

    Oh you KNOW I love this! Hi, Miss Pooch!

    So how long did it take to find the sweet spot in the seam? My friends’ mother volunteers at Goodwill and sends them bags of toys that they can’t sell there (their policy) so that their dog has a free victim to eviscerate whenever the mood hits.

  2. lsaspacey Says:

    Forgot to say, love the new blog!

  3. lisa Says:

    That a girl tear Martha a new one!


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